I have SO missed this. Writing here, sharing things that you probably don't care about but that I do. My time making sense of everything by clicking each little letter on this keyboard. Oh how I love little blog here! It makes me happy. Too bad my life is absolutely crazy right now and I barely find time to breathe let alone anything extra. But, as this crazy, long, exhausting week comes to a close, and I am sitting here on my bed watching a show (because sometimes on Saturday's you just have to take a timeout when it comes to homework) I have realized that there are quite a few things that I have learned this week. Let me share:) And as always, sorry not sorry if this turns into a novel of my discoveries.
#1 Priesthood Blessings Are Powerful
Let's rewind a little bit. A few weeks ago I got really overwhelmed and stressed with a whole array of aspects of my life. I just felt frustrated with some things and had the thought "you should ask ______ for a blessing." Then I got sick. That in between sick where you still feel extra crummy and probably should go to the doctor (but maybe don't) but then feel like you can't call in sick to work for 2 weeks so you just suck it up and go about life even though the rest of your time is spent sleeping on your neighbors' couch....okay so maybe that last part only applies to me, but what can I say, I have pretty great neighbors! At that point I felt even more like I should ask for a blessing, but something kept stopping me. It was weird. It's not like I don't have people that I could ask, there are several people I would feel comfortable asking. But I kept putting it off, even though the stress and frustrations hadn't gone away and my lungs felt like they were on fire. Then I got feeling better, and I found more excuses not to ask _______ for a blessing. One of the biggest things for me was the fact that I didn't want to make it a big deal and I kept getting hung up on that. Then the strangest thing happened...my best friend (who is serving a mission) sent me her weekly email last a few weeks ago, and in it she said "Speaking of men and Priesthood, have you asked anyone for a blessing? Because those totally help when you're stressed and just need direction in your life. Just a thought. I've been thinking a lot about Priesthood blessings lately and I love them. So yeah. That's my advice for the week." UMM I'M SORRY, WHAT?! How on earth did she know? Such a tender mercy from my Father in Heaven, who knows me so well. He knew I would need that extra push. When I emailed her back I made her a promise. This is what I told her " I don't understand why, but I feel like I keep finding reasons not to ask for one. I JUST NEED TO ASK FOR A DANG BLESSING ALREADY! Because I know it will bless my life, and I know I can have the courage to do it. I know I am strong enough. So that is my goal for this week, to have the courage and strength, and to be humble enough to ask for a priesthood blessing." It's a darn good thing I love her to death, and that I made that promise because all week I kept talking myself out of it. But then the middle of the week some new things came about, and Thursday I was struggling with it, and I remembered my promise, and FINALLY asked _________ for a blessing. He never texted me back and I thought he might actually just not come. I was filled with a nervousness that only got worse when him one of his roommates showed up at my house. They came in and it was almost awkward for a few seconds (which is weird because things are anything but awkward with those two) but finally I just asked them if sometime in the next day or so they could give me a priesthood blessing. And here is when I talk about how amazing these two are. Not only did they say yes, but their response was "Why don't we just do it right now?" I can't express how grateful I am for them. And for the fact that they are worthy and willing to give me a blessing at the drop of a hat. This week for that reason (and a few others) I was reminded of what gems they are, and how lucky I am to have them in my life. One of the coolest things was when they asked why I was wanting a blessing. I was struggling to put my feelings into words, and one of them simply said "just for strength?" and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders for a second. That is exactly what I needed. And while the rest of the week has been a doozy, I've had a little extra bit of peace. The power of the priesthood is real, and priesthood blessings are incredible. I have known this, but was definitely reminded this week.
(If you don't know what I am talking about when I say Priesthood Blessings you can click here and learn more about my religion and what I believe.)
#2 Sometimes Being A Grown Up Is Crummy
This week, there were some incredible people let go at work. People I have grown very fond of. Nice, wonderful, competent people who were let go because cuts had to be made. Wanting to be respectful of them, I don't want to go into tons of details, but I learned this week that being a grownup is crummy sometimes, and sometimes bad things happen to good people. And when you are a grownup they call it life. And it's not fair. And there is nothing I can do to make it better. And for me, that's a hard place to be.
#3 Sometimes People Will Disappoint You....And Sometimes You Will Disappoint Them...And Sometimes The Right Thing To Do Is The Hardest.....And Sometimes You Don't Know What That "Right Thing" Is
One thing that made this week so hard, was a being treated poorly by a dear friend who I care about tremendously. In response to that I felt the best thing to do was to distance myself. Which in turn, hurt the person I care about. I found myself feeling a whole range of emotions all at a very high intensity. Those close to me to whom I entrusted this information with keep telling me that I deserve to be treated so much better than I am currently being treated. They keep telling me to break all contact with this person. To shut them out completely from my life. Which would possibly be the best thing for me, but would deeply hurt this other person. And I can't do that. But should I? A very dear friend of mine once told me that I "deserve to have the right to be picky" when it comes to those I have relationships with. The thing is sometimes I don't feel that way. And coming from someone who has been on the other end of someone walking away, I never want to make someone feel like that in my life. So how do I know what is right? How do I decide what I deserve? And how do I take care of myself and others all at the same time. I learned more and more this week that things aren't just black and white. And sometimes when you think you're making the best decision...it turns out to be wrong. And sometimes people get angry and disappointed in you. And it's hard.
#4 When All Else Fails, Be Grateful
Most importantly this week, I have learned (or again, have been reminded) to be grateful. I have seen how extremely blessed I am and even when things are tough, and I have one of the hardest weeks of my life, my Father in Heaven is looking out for me. So whether it comes in a blessing from a friend, where he mentions the help, love, and support of family members present to help me through...on the birthday of a dear loved one who has passed away. Or a friend who sends me snap chats that make me laugh. Or a chance to work some extra house. Or a sister who has grown into one of my dearest friends feeding me soup when I go visit her. My Heavenly Father loves me, and He reminds me of this all the time. And I am SO extremely grateful for His patience and love. It keeps me going.
#1 Priesthood Blessings Are Powerful
Let's rewind a little bit. A few weeks ago I got really overwhelmed and stressed with a whole array of aspects of my life. I just felt frustrated with some things and had the thought "you should ask ______ for a blessing." Then I got sick. That in between sick where you still feel extra crummy and probably should go to the doctor (but maybe don't) but then feel like you can't call in sick to work for 2 weeks so you just suck it up and go about life even though the rest of your time is spent sleeping on your neighbors' couch....okay so maybe that last part only applies to me, but what can I say, I have pretty great neighbors! At that point I felt even more like I should ask for a blessing, but something kept stopping me. It was weird. It's not like I don't have people that I could ask, there are several people I would feel comfortable asking. But I kept putting it off, even though the stress and frustrations hadn't gone away and my lungs felt like they were on fire. Then I got feeling better, and I found more excuses not to ask _______ for a blessing. One of the biggest things for me was the fact that I didn't want to make it a big deal and I kept getting hung up on that. Then the strangest thing happened...my best friend (who is serving a mission) sent me her weekly email last a few weeks ago, and in it she said "Speaking of men and Priesthood, have you asked anyone for a blessing? Because those totally help when you're stressed and just need direction in your life. Just a thought. I've been thinking a lot about Priesthood blessings lately and I love them. So yeah. That's my advice for the week." UMM I'M SORRY, WHAT?! How on earth did she know? Such a tender mercy from my Father in Heaven, who knows me so well. He knew I would need that extra push. When I emailed her back I made her a promise. This is what I told her " I don't understand why, but I feel like I keep finding reasons not to ask for one. I JUST NEED TO ASK FOR A DANG BLESSING ALREADY! Because I know it will bless my life, and I know I can have the courage to do it. I know I am strong enough. So that is my goal for this week, to have the courage and strength, and to be humble enough to ask for a priesthood blessing." It's a darn good thing I love her to death, and that I made that promise because all week I kept talking myself out of it. But then the middle of the week some new things came about, and Thursday I was struggling with it, and I remembered my promise, and FINALLY asked _________ for a blessing. He never texted me back and I thought he might actually just not come. I was filled with a nervousness that only got worse when him one of his roommates showed up at my house. They came in and it was almost awkward for a few seconds (which is weird because things are anything but awkward with those two) but finally I just asked them if sometime in the next day or so they could give me a priesthood blessing. And here is when I talk about how amazing these two are. Not only did they say yes, but their response was "Why don't we just do it right now?" I can't express how grateful I am for them. And for the fact that they are worthy and willing to give me a blessing at the drop of a hat. This week for that reason (and a few others) I was reminded of what gems they are, and how lucky I am to have them in my life. One of the coolest things was when they asked why I was wanting a blessing. I was struggling to put my feelings into words, and one of them simply said "just for strength?" and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders for a second. That is exactly what I needed. And while the rest of the week has been a doozy, I've had a little extra bit of peace. The power of the priesthood is real, and priesthood blessings are incredible. I have known this, but was definitely reminded this week.
(If you don't know what I am talking about when I say Priesthood Blessings you can click here and learn more about my religion and what I believe.)
#2 Sometimes Being A Grown Up Is Crummy
This week, there were some incredible people let go at work. People I have grown very fond of. Nice, wonderful, competent people who were let go because cuts had to be made. Wanting to be respectful of them, I don't want to go into tons of details, but I learned this week that being a grownup is crummy sometimes, and sometimes bad things happen to good people. And when you are a grownup they call it life. And it's not fair. And there is nothing I can do to make it better. And for me, that's a hard place to be.
#3 Sometimes People Will Disappoint You....And Sometimes You Will Disappoint Them...And Sometimes The Right Thing To Do Is The Hardest.....And Sometimes You Don't Know What That "Right Thing" Is
One thing that made this week so hard, was a being treated poorly by a dear friend who I care about tremendously. In response to that I felt the best thing to do was to distance myself. Which in turn, hurt the person I care about. I found myself feeling a whole range of emotions all at a very high intensity. Those close to me to whom I entrusted this information with keep telling me that I deserve to be treated so much better than I am currently being treated. They keep telling me to break all contact with this person. To shut them out completely from my life. Which would possibly be the best thing for me, but would deeply hurt this other person. And I can't do that. But should I? A very dear friend of mine once told me that I "deserve to have the right to be picky" when it comes to those I have relationships with. The thing is sometimes I don't feel that way. And coming from someone who has been on the other end of someone walking away, I never want to make someone feel like that in my life. So how do I know what is right? How do I decide what I deserve? And how do I take care of myself and others all at the same time. I learned more and more this week that things aren't just black and white. And sometimes when you think you're making the best decision...it turns out to be wrong. And sometimes people get angry and disappointed in you. And it's hard.
#4 When All Else Fails, Be Grateful
Most importantly this week, I have learned (or again, have been reminded) to be grateful. I have seen how extremely blessed I am and even when things are tough, and I have one of the hardest weeks of my life, my Father in Heaven is looking out for me. So whether it comes in a blessing from a friend, where he mentions the help, love, and support of family members present to help me through...on the birthday of a dear loved one who has passed away. Or a friend who sends me snap chats that make me laugh. Or a chance to work some extra house. Or a sister who has grown into one of my dearest friends feeding me soup when I go visit her. My Heavenly Father loves me, and He reminds me of this all the time. And I am SO extremely grateful for His patience and love. It keeps me going.
Comments
Post a Comment