This Crazy Thing We Call Life!

Tonight my brain wont turn off. That seems to be happening to me more and more these days. I keeps pounding and pounding. And thinking about how weird this summer has been. How there have been some of my favorite days with my favorite people. How I have one of the best jobs in the world! One that I hope for for years and finally had the guts to try again for. One that has made a difference in my life in more ways than anyone could have imagined or foreseen. How nothing I had planned has actually happened. How sometimes people are weird. And how their tiny decisions can make me feel super crummy or like a million bucks. And they don't even realize it. And whether or not they understand or realize it, they have taught me so many things this summer about myself and the way I feel about people.  The way that people can hurt you without even knowing it. And how they can completely make your day just by giving awesome hugs. How best friends have become strangers. And stranger

Sometimes I am lonely. There I said it. Sometimes I am lonely. And sometimes I get sad. Or angry. Or frustrated. But I feel like I cant talk about it, like I have to always be the happy, stress-free version of myself. And that is not always the case. But here's the thing...those stressed out, frustrated, lonely times don't take away the joy and the happiness and the love I feel all the time! It is still there and still thriving. So why can't I talk about how there are times when I am so overwhelmed I literally don't know what to do with myself besides crawl under the covers and never come out? Why can't I share when I am feeling down, or struggling, or alone? And why does it seem like such a TABOO  topic to admit? Seriously I can't be the only one who ever has or ever will feel this way. Impossible. The world is not all rainbows and sunshine all of the time and that is okay. And whether or not you like the rain it is going to come and I am a firm be

Summer should last longer. There is no logical reason that at this point it should already be half way over. And country music should always be playing. Always. Cereal should be more widely accepted as an anytime food. The fact that I've eaten cereal for two of my three meals every day this week should not be a problem for anyone. Gardens should be more of a thing. As a college student, I wish I could have a garden. I want to grow my own food and then cook it for the people I love. Fresh veggies and such from a garden on a summer's day...you're not going to get much better than that my friend.  Folding/putting away laundry is basically the worst part of having clean clothes. People should be kinder to each other. And more forward.  If I care about you or miss you I am going to tell you that and I shouldn't feel like I am risking our relationship (platonic or otherwise) by doing so. Why cant we just say what we are thinking? If they are nice words they d

How do you tell someone that they mean the world to you? So much that their decisions and actions and emotions have started seeping over into your life! How do you tell them that you feel everything at 1000% and the emotions they are feeling--to and extent you feel them too. How do you tell them that you stay up all night worrying about them. That you are physically, mentally, and emotionally hurting because they are. That you have a love for them and you're not quite sure what that means exactly but it is there and it's not going away anytime soon. And that you would give anything to be able to make everything go away, to be the one who could make them happy! How to you tell them all of that when you feel like the closer you get the farther they pull away. And for every step you take closer to getting back to the way things were, you find yourself taking two steps in the opposite direction. How do you tell them that you are so frustrated by them at time the only thing you wan

sunshine snow cones rooftops sunsets guacamole ice cream dates sand volleyball canoes road trips country music windows rolled down drives up the canyon raspberries rope swings This is one of my most favorite times of the year. Everyone has a little bit of sunshine in their eyes and the sun kissed feeling is one that I wouldn't trade for anything. Since school has been out life has slowed down quite a bit...and yet I feel like a lot has happened. And I am extremely excited for the rest of the summer. I love how summer can bring people together and take them different directions at the same time. Everyone does their own thing and it's fantastic and carefree. Here are my most recent happenings. Michael got married. I love this kid to death and I have never seen him with a bigger smile on his face! Dani is fantastic as well and I could not be happier for the two of them! I got to see some of my favorites at the reception and I even got

Okay so it's actually two different top ten lists but that's fine. Here we go. The top TEN…. Things I have learned this semester… 10. Even when school is hard it can be enjoyable. 9. Drives up the canyon can do a lot of good. 8. Sometimes I struggle with people. 7. People are more understanding if you just go talk to them about what is going on. 6. My brain is capable of more than I ever will understand. 5. Some days you just need to buy a cheesecake. And that's okay. 4. Taking chances=worth the risk. 3. Even though trials may be hard, in the end you will learn something. Keep going. 2. People can be major blessings in your life. 1. I will do absolutely anything for the ones that I love. Even if they don’t realize it. Things I did this semester…..(in no particular order) 10. Went snowboarding TWICE (this probably doesn't seem like a big deal but it actually is). 9. Sparklers up the canyon. 8. Tri-wizard tournament (scrapped my shoulder up pretty bad

This little blog of mine has been neglected for a while and I apologize to the three people who potentially look at it. I have been going non-stop and it has been crazy! This blog is definitely just for me and it probably would have helped me to de-stress a little bit but I just have not had the time or energy lately. And so instead of telling you everything that has happened over the past month and a half I am just going to show you.