There are times in life where you are in transition. In between the last thing, and not quite to the next. And all you can do is wait. Wait for the next thing to get here, wait for your turn to shine, wait for the adventure around the corner. Well that is where I am at in pretty much ever aspect of my life right now. Waiting for broken relationships to mend, waiting for new ones to develop, waiting for school to "actually start" (where I actually feel like I am working towards a degree instead of just taking classes), waiting to find a job, waiting to go home (or not? depends on the job situation), waiting for my life to make sense. And you know what? It's hard! Through faith I know that my Father in Heaven has a plan for me, and that I can and will accomplish great things by following that plan. But the waiting; the waiting is so hard. I was talking to a friend's mom the other day, and then again with my own mother about this in reference to my job search that has lasted about 5 months now....and as it gets closer and closer to summer I get more and more anxious about the fact that I still have not been able to find a job (and possibly will have to get 2 jobs to make rent for next fall). I told both my friend's mom and mine that "I know things haven't been working out so that the right thing will, but waiting for it to work out is really hard." It is hard not knowing what is going to happen in the future, both the immediate and the distant. It is hard having good friends that I miss so dearly so far away. Or having friendships lost, in repair but not fully restored. It is hard being an adult. It is hard because life is hard, and when you're in that waiting part, you feel like you will never get out. Through faith I know that in time, this too will pass...but even with strong faith being patient is easier said than done. Life is hard. But it's hard for everyone. And each day that I sit here in the in between "waiting part" I get one day closer to finding out what my Father in Heaven has in store for me.
It's been a while since I have written anything on here. And I know it's been a while. I know that the last few weeks have been crazy, and that that is part of it. But I also know that I have sat down to write here more times than I would care to admit. I know that I have a million thoughts running around in my head. I know that I want to figure out how to let the words out and have them make sense. I know I have all these ideas about what I want to do with my life, what I want to accomplish, and who I want to become, and yet I lack the knowledge of how to get there. I know I have dreams. I know I want to be somebody that people can look up too someday. I know what I love. I know I have to make choices. I know that I ramble. A lot. I know a lot of things. Maybe I will talk about everything. Maybe I will save a post or two for another day. I know that this post is going to be long. I know that this post may be very varied when it comes to topics. I know that n...
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