Sometimes I feel like I have no control over anything in my life. Sometimes I get frustrated at everything, including my upstairs neighbors who are quite often loud people. And sometimes I just struggle with things. That is when I vacuum. We have a rug. It's cream. It's nice and soft and makes the room look better. Except for when it is filthy, which I feel like is most the time because hey, we live here and we walk on the rug, and we're girls so our hair sheds (especially mine) and so it makes sense why the rug gets dirty. And usually it doesn't bother me. Except when I like to vacuum. And then all of a sudden I find myself, unable to control the noisy neighbors, or homework in classes, or decisions in my life, on my hands and knees vacuuming the rug. This rug that is still soft and nice and still cream. And in a few days it will be dirty again and I will just keep walking by. But for now, the rug is clean and my life does not seem like it's spinning uncontrollably quite as much. Sometime I like to vacuum.
This is the time of year when we evaluate our lives. We look at the last 364 days and ponder on our struggles and our triumphs. We look at the person we have become over the last 12 months and we plan to do better in the coming 12. This is the time of year we are dedicated to making a change, and as I sit here thinking back to this time exactly 365 days ago, I am astounded at how far I have come. Almost ashamed of the person I was then and truly proud of the person I am now. For one of the first times in my life I can say that I can see myself becoming the person I want to become. In the last year I have felt sorrow and defeat and loneliness. I have faced struggles and heartache and frustrations. But I have also felt peace. I have felt joy and happiness and love. I set goals and I achieved them. I have had experiences that have taught me so many valuable lessons, and I have met people who have changed me forever. And I am so grateful. And so as we finish out this awfully beautiful year...
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