Here To Stay.

One of my favorite songs has been on repeat constantly for the last couple days. And more than normal.

I kind of feel like this song fits my life right now. And maybe it doesn't, maybe I don't understand it at all, but to me, for whatever reason, this song just fits. I don't even have a different or better way to say it. But you know what, that's okay. It's okay that I don't really know what I am doing. As long as I keep pushing along. Which IS what I am doing. So I am okay.

I am okay.

I have some pretty great people in my life. I am lucky that way I guess. And one of those great people would be my best friend Lexy. She a gem, the cream of the crop for sure. I feel sorry for everyone who doesn't have the privilege of knowing her. Truly. Anyways, in a month she will go on an 18 month mission for our church. I can't begin to explain how proud of her I am, and how much I look up to her. What am I going to do without her? I seriously have no clue! 

Well tonight we were talking. A little about how I don't know what I am doing. Our conversation was fairly casual, but she said some things that have gotten me thinking. Things went a little like this...

ME: "Thanks dear. Believe me, I've had my moments, this last week especially. But I really am okay. I guess I just feel like I can't figure out why I am here, especially if this job isn't working out. And if it's not, then what? I need to work, I can't just not work this summer. And while I am waiting to figure things out I sit here by myself and everyone else does these great things. I know I can do great things, I just cant figure out what my great things are yet."

HER: "Here's the secret: I'm not really doing anything great either. Sure I'm preparing for a mission and it's awesome but it's just the path I'm taking. You have to make your own way great. It's great that you're preparing for a half marathon. It's great that you've made such awesome goals for your summer, current job or not. It's great that you're making an effort to become who you want to be. Cause that's what life is really all about. The grass may look greener on the other side, but you have to water your own. It's just what you make great in your life, big or small or whatever it may be. It's hard to feel that way, you just have to fake it till you make it and believe in it."

 Now you understand why I will be lost without her right?! I mean if you can't tell how amazing she is just from this, you're crazy. 

Mostly I started this post because it got me thinking....

Mostly I just wanted to say (to whoever you are that maybe, probably doesn't read my blog) that this song is good. And I am here to stay.