I hate the beginning of the semester. I hate trying to remember which classes I have when, which classes are going to kill me with all the homework and tests, and which classes will put me to sleep either due to a dull topic or less-than-interesting professor...or both. I hate hate hate buying textbooks because I feel like I pay an arm and a leg for them. I hate going to class and just sitting there alone because I don't make friends easily, and despite what actually might be reality, to me it just seems like everyone else in the class has someone to sit there and talk to. I hate the beginning of the semester because you I haven't worked out the kinks in everything and I always feel rushed like I am always late or always forgetting something. But mostly I just hate the beginning of the semester for one question that is always asked. "So what are you studying?" And I am guilty of this too, you meet someone for the first time and it is one of the very first questions you ask. But I don't have an answer. And so I hate it. Because I feel so stupid standing there talking to these people who have their lives figured out, which seems to be pretty much everyone besides me. It's awesome. After school has been going for a few weeks you seem to stop meeting or being introduced to people on a pretty regular basis...but those first few weeks are miserable. I get asked that question and I just want to turn, look them straight in the face and reply with something along the lines of "No I don't know what I want to do with my life, and thank you for reminding me of that fact!" because I don't know about everyone else, but not knowing what I want to do isn't something that is fun for me...it's not like I am putting things off...if I knew I would get on it and declare a major...I would not just be sitting here. This is not a fun feeling. So as this semester keeps going, as we move farther away from the beginning, I will keep trying to discover what it is I am passionate about, what I want to do with my life. Until then, the first of the semester will continue to be the worst.
It's been a while since I have written anything on here. And I know it's been a while. I know that the last few weeks have been crazy, and that that is part of it. But I also know that I have sat down to write here more times than I would care to admit. I know that I have a million thoughts running around in my head. I know that I want to figure out how to let the words out and have them make sense. I know I have all these ideas about what I want to do with my life, what I want to accomplish, and who I want to become, and yet I lack the knowledge of how to get there. I know I have dreams. I know I want to be somebody that people can look up too someday. I know what I love. I know I have to make choices. I know that I ramble. A lot. I know a lot of things. Maybe I will talk about everything. Maybe I will save a post or two for another day. I know that this post is going to be long. I know that this post may be very varied when it comes to topics. I know that n...
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