I hate the beginning of the semester. I hate trying to remember which classes I have when, which classes are going to kill me with all the homework and tests, and which classes will put me to sleep either due to a dull topic or less-than-interesting professor...or both. I hate hate hate buying textbooks because I feel like I pay an arm and a leg for them. I hate going to class and just sitting there alone because I don't make friends easily, and despite what actually might be reality, to me it just seems like everyone else in the class has someone to sit there and talk to. I hate the beginning of the semester because you I haven't worked out the kinks in everything and I always feel rushed like I am always late or always forgetting something. But mostly I just hate the beginning of the semester for one question that is always asked. "So what are you studying?" And I am guilty of this too, you meet someone for the first time and it is one of the very first questions you ask. But I don't have an answer. And so I hate it. Because I feel so stupid standing there talking to these people who have their lives figured out, which seems to be pretty much everyone besides me. It's awesome. After school has been going for a few weeks you seem to stop meeting or being introduced to people on a pretty regular basis...but those first few weeks are miserable. I get asked that question and I just want to turn, look them straight in the face and reply with something along the lines of "No I don't know what I want to do with my life, and thank you for reminding me of that fact!" because I don't know about everyone else, but not knowing what I want to do isn't something that is fun for me...it's not like I am putting things off...if I knew I would get on it and declare a major...I would not just be sitting here. This is not a fun feeling. So as this semester keeps going, as we move farther away from the beginning, I will keep trying to discover what it is I am passionate about, what I want to do with my life. Until then, the first of the semester will continue to be the worst.
My cousin Cade had his Missionary Farewell yesterday and I feel so blessed to have been able to attend. First off, he is amazing. He is one of the funniest people I know and he is smart and a musical genius. He is simply his own person and there are endless characteristics/qualities that he possess that I would love to develop in myself. So I mean it is easy to say that I love the kid to death. But he spoke in sacrament meeting and the spirit that he brought was truly inspiring, and stronger than anything I have felt in a long time. It touched my heart. And I knew that he was called of God to serve, that he is worthy to serve, and that he has a testimony of the gospel and our Savior, Jesus Christ. It was such an incredible experience. When he concluded he played an original arrangement of Be Still My Soul on the piano and again the spirit was overwhelming. That is my favorite hymn, and it brings me so much comfort which I coincidentally really needed at that moment. Reminding ...
Comments
Post a Comment