As I sit here sick in my bed, covered in blankets and jackets and all sorts of things to keep me warm, listening to the constant chatter of my family and watching beautiful white snow cover the Texas ground, I cannot help but be completely overwhelmed with emotions. Maybe it is because I am home surrounded by the people I love which doesn't happen all too often. Or perhaps it's because I have the cold of the century; a mix of being drugged up on cold medicine and feeling crummy. But regardless of what the reason, I am sitting here full of joy and gratitude for all I have been given. I think of dear ones separated from their families and loved ones and it hurts my heart. I pray they know how much they are loved and missed. I think of dear ones who are far away celebrating with those they love the most and I am grateful to have them in my life. I think of all the tender mercies I have received, especially recently. I think of my precious family, that drives me absolutely crazy, but who I absolutely adore. I think about this time of year when everyone is so willing to give of themselves. And why doesn't that last the whole year long. I think of the words of my favorite Christmas song as it says "Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace." And I think of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I think of the child laid in the manger that holy night, and the people that surrounded Him. And I wonder if they truly could comprehend, in that moment, all that that sweet baby would bring to the world. I think about my Father in Heaven, and how hard it must have been for Him to give us His Only Begotten Son, to watch Him come to this Earth and teach, and then to watch Him sacrifice His life for my sins, and the sins the world. I think about Christ and the sorrows He must have felt because of me and everyone who ever walks upon the Earth. And although it breaks my heart, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I think about that night, with the stars and the angels, the wise men and the stable, and although I do not comprehend much of anything, I feel the love my Savior has for each of us. So today, as we open presents, play in the snow, and enjoy the delicious foods that usually accompany this day, I think about why this beautiful day is so important, and I cant help but thank my Father in Heaven for the life I have been given.
This is the time of year when we evaluate our lives. We look at the last 364 days and ponder on our struggles and our triumphs. We look at the person we have become over the last 12 months and we plan to do better in the coming 12. This is the time of year we are dedicated to making a change, and as I sit here thinking back to this time exactly 365 days ago, I am astounded at how far I have come. Almost ashamed of the person I was then and truly proud of the person I am now. For one of the first times in my life I can say that I can see myself becoming the person I want to become. In the last year I have felt sorrow and defeat and loneliness. I have faced struggles and heartache and frustrations. But I have also felt peace. I have felt joy and happiness and love. I set goals and I achieved them. I have had experiences that have taught me so many valuable lessons, and I have met people who have changed me forever. And I am so grateful. And so as we finish out this awfully beautiful year...
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