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I'm A Grown Up, Say Whaaaaaaat??

Okay. So my dear friend Lexy who also blogs text me the other day to inform me that I hadn't blogged in a while and she wanted me too...but I feel like every time I blog it is about the same things. And that is so boring!! I don't want to be boring I want to be interesting and exciting and inspiring. But then I write things and read back over them and they all sound the same. So I'm going to go ahead and blog away and I apologize if my life is redundant:) Alright so when I was 16 I started working at this place called Going Bonkers (it's kind of Chuck-E-Cheese on steriods) where I did all sorts of things, mostly birthday parties, for two and half years until I left for school. But this week I am back and it wasn't very great. In fact after a shift and a half I was seriously contemplating quitting. BUT! I got another job so now I only have to be at GB on Saturdays which makes working there much more bearable. This new job is great! I work for a couple who runs their own pest control company out of their house and so I am learning all these new skills, like routing and invoicing. It's a grown up job and I feel like a grown up for the first time in my life. It's forcing me to be an adult where at GB I can be a little kid still. I am not saying I am not still a little kid a heart because believe me, I am. What I am saying is that I am learning skills that are making me become a better person, and I am really enjoying that.
Also with this new job, I have a lot of alone time, and I do a lot of thinking about my life. The car is a great place to think. And often I find myself talking to myself which is embarrassing, but that's another story. I have been thinking a lot this week about where I am at in my life, the important people in my life, and the opportunities that are coming. And also the challenges that are headed my way. You know that feeling when you know that something is going to happen and all you can do is brace yourself....yeah that is where I am at right now. And so as I drive to and from work and I think about my life, I am so overwhelmed by the fact that I have no control over anything. I cant control who is going to leave and I cant control what is going to happen in the next few years. And as much as I wish I could go back in time and control everything, that is not possible. And I know that people say that "everything happens for a reason" and "everything will work out the way it's supposed to." and I know that that is true. But the waiting part is so hard. And I look at like and sometimes I am just so overwhelmed at the now. But then I think about where I was a year ago, and about how I got where I am today, and about the people who helped me get here, and I am so grateful. And I couldn't control things then. But somehow things happened. So things will happen again. I am so afraid of making mistakes that I don't let myself live, and what a mistake that is. But I think about everything and feel like maybe things will be okay:) And now I have successfully rambled enough. I would say sorry for writing a novel, but honestly, I'm not really sorry. This is for me and you are welcome to join me for the ride, but the bottom line is...I don't write for you:)

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