What Are You Scared of Today?

FACT: The smartest people that I know are the people who read.
FACT: I am nowhere near being 'the smartest person' anyone knows.
FACT: I am a work in progress.
FACT: I can become so much more than I currently am.
FACT: I am on a quest to read as much as I can for a whole year.
FACT: This is exponentially harder than it sounds.

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I was scrolling through Facebook last week and I came across an article that caught my attention. Being on a "quest to read more" I clicked on the article and started to read a column written by a young lady regarding mental health, her experience, and what she longs to say to those 'dear friends' around her who are also struggling. It was a great read and I am glad that I took the time to read it, however there is one question that has stuck in the back of my mind:

"What are you scared of today?"

As I have continued with my daily life, this question has crept back in time and time again, and I cant help but think about the honest and true answers.

What am I scared of today?

Honestly, a lot! Haha and that is part of the scary.

I don't think that it was a coincidence, however, that right when this question seems trapped in my mind, is also right when a new book comes in the mail (one that I ordered in the mail before I stumbled upon the article and the question) called The Year of Yes: How to Dance it Out, Soak Up the Sun, and Be Your Own Person by Shonda Rhimes.

Shonda (can I call her Shonda? Are we best friends? I read the entire book in roughly 24 hours so I feel like we are close now.) is the creator of Gray's Anatomy (along with other TV shows) and she wrote this book exploring the year she vowed to say yes more.

Yes to things that scare her.

Let me repeat that: She said yes to everything that terrified her FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR. 
And she became someone wiser, braver, STRONGER for it.

She learned how to say yes. She learned that this yes made her no more powerful.
She learned who who Ride or Die's are.

She learned she was more than she knew.

So what am I scared of today?

I am scared of saying yes.
I am scared of not living up to the high standards that I set for myself.
I am scared of letting people down, and of being alone forever.

I am scared of being a burden to others.

I am scared of being vulnerable.

I am scared of wasted opportunities.

I am scared of car accidents and serious injuries.
I am scared of losing my job.

I am scared of losing the people who mean the most to me.

I am scared of not being enough.

But I am also scared of what will happen if I don't say YES.
If I never move past my comfort zone.
If I never become more than I currently am.

And so today, I said yes to ice cream before dinner, to speaking at conferences, to new blog posts, and to talking to people who matter. Today I said yes to becoming better.

Today I said yes to scary thing.

I said yes to yes.

PS. xoxo