...you realize that you don't know how to date. When you find yourself at a crossroads and you literally have no clue which way to go because guess what, even though you are 21 years old you've never actually done this before. That moment when you realize it would optimal if your best friends weren't either A) serving a mission across the country or B) working/will never let you live it down if you let them see you right now. The moment where you wish you didn't feel the way that you do and yet at the same time you are excited and anxious to see what comes next. The moment you decide you don't care about things, but at the same time you care a lot. The moment where you just wish you were good at this so you could feel like you had a fighting chance. The awkward moment when you know that your best friend is going to tell you "that sometimes the only form of transportation available is a leap of faith" and you hate it because you know she will be right.
This is the time of year when we evaluate our lives. We look at the last 364 days and ponder on our struggles and our triumphs. We look at the person we have become over the last 12 months and we plan to do better in the coming 12. This is the time of year we are dedicated to making a change, and as I sit here thinking back to this time exactly 365 days ago, I am astounded at how far I have come. Almost ashamed of the person I was then and truly proud of the person I am now. For one of the first times in my life I can say that I can see myself becoming the person I want to become. In the last year I have felt sorrow and defeat and loneliness. I have faced struggles and heartache and frustrations. But I have also felt peace. I have felt joy and happiness and love. I set goals and I achieved them. I have had experiences that have taught me so many valuable lessons, and I have met people who have changed me forever. And I am so grateful. And so as we finish out this awfully beautiful year...
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