This Crazy Thing We Call Life!

Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves, they’ll judge it like they know about me and you. I was lucky like a four leaf clover.  All you need is love, love, Love is all you need.  Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, boy, she'll beat you if she's able, you know, the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet. Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters, too. Freedom, well, that's just some people talking. Your prison is walking through this world all alone.   I said, “leave,” but all I really want is you. Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, b ut I realized some bigger dreams of mine. On my knees and out of luck,  I look up.   The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls.  Don't test the ones you love, it will only tear us down, if you want to feel alive then learn to love your ground. You call me up again...

I love love. I am the absolute definition of a hopeless romantic (if you look it up in the dictionary I am fairly certain you will just find a picture of my face!) I love love songs and romantic lovey movies and things of that nature. It makes me so happy to see people who are in love; to see how they look at each other. I want someone to look at me that way. I want someone to need me for forever. I want to find that person that makes all those lovey quotes you see on pinterest apply to me. Not necessarily now, I am in no hurry to get to that point of my life. But at the same time I am seeing so many people in my life at that stage, and even though I am SO not ready to be there myself I still look at how happy they are and I want that in my life some day. I got a letter from my best friend yesterday. It has been so long since I've talked to him (besides letters) and even longer since I've seen him. Man do I miss that kid. He was very open and honest with me. It was refreshing...

I am completely full to the very brim with mixed emotions. One of the people I look up to the most, one of my heroes, someone I simply adore got married to the love of her life yesterday and even still sitting here I get emotional about it. I only want the very best for her and I am so very happy that she found someone so amazing to spend the rest of her life with. But at the same time I feel that I'm losing such a special friend. She embraced me, and loved me simply for who I am and to me that means a lot. My heart was touched and I will forever be a better person because of her and her friendship. I spent the weekend with friends who are like family and I am so blessed. And then when things didn't work out the way I expected, I was able to turn to other friends (who are like family) and things were all okay. Except they are moving to the opposite side of the country. I am so grateful for the wonderful examples in my life. But then I miss people with all my heart that are bus...

Not completely, but a little bit yeah. I am so tired, my eyes are heavy and they burn. I have no desire to do anything at this point. It's cold and my body just sort of hurts. We've gotten snow the last two days and I am not a fan. Last night I got a phone call from my Father. Apparently my parents haven't been talking to each other about some things in my life the way I had hoped. I sat on my floor a sobbed talking to my Dad on the phone. I miss him. Not only is he my Dad, but he's one of my best friends and favorite people to be around. We had a very good talk and it helped me a lot...or so I thought. I then spent the night watching a movie and hanging out with some friends. It was great. I cant explain the love I feel when I am with such wonderful people. I went to bed last night just as confused as I the night before, just as confused as I will tonight. It's hard. My Mom keeps telling me I can do hard things. Today she made me promise that when I doubt myself or...

has been long, has been stressful, has been exhausting. I could use a hug.