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Saying Goodbye, and Other Such Things....

Okay so here's the deal. I sometimes struggle with finding things to blog about. I will have ideas, sentences or phrases that I want to talk about but when I finally sit down to write I cant come up with anything beyond those sentences and phrases. And it's been happening more and more lately so combined with the fact that I work my life away, explains why I haven't posted anything in a month or so. BUT the last week or so I have found myself with several things on my mind. And so I am sitting down to talk (write?) about them. Some funny (okay so maybe not that funny...), some religious and some serious. SO consider yourself warned...this might be the longest blog post of your life. I hope you enjoy!:)
So first things first, I work all the time. Having a full time job is not only time consuming and tiring, but SUPER STRESSFUL! I have woken up in the middle of the night with names and numbers racing through my head on numerous occasions...each time in a panic that I have messed something up. It's not really healthy haha I know. But this job is such a blessing. I spent 9 months away at school trying to find work and was turned down for positions time and time again. I kept telling myself that "things weren't working out so that the right thing could" but that is easier said than believed when you have responsibilities staring you down that you don't know how you are going to take care of. I got home and within 3 days this job basically fell into my lap. What a gift. It was exactly what I needed. Not only that but I have my second job (actually my first one, that I had in high school) that has allowed me to continue there on Saturdays. And I will be honest it is hard working that much, but I also feel so grateful for the opportunity to work as much as I do. Other than that I don't do much. I wish I had more time to do some of the things that are on my bucket list because that basically hasn't happened and probably wont, but what can you do, right? Right, nothing! Just gotta roll with it!:) The other night I did get to go to institute though and it was actually really great! Institute is a religion class for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I had been meaning to go for a couple weeks now but by the time I get home from work I am usually exhausted and I just kept forgetting. By I went this last week and it surprised me how much I learned and how strongly I was able to feel the spirit. Luckily I had taken my journal cause I scribbled down notes throughout the entire lesson. The lesson was on talents, and I felt like things were geared toward understanding you potential. Which is something that I have a hard time with sometimes. I am certainly getting better at it, but it takes time for sure and it was nice to have such a beautiful reminder this week. The part that stood out to me the most was one of the quotes and I didn't write down who said it, but they said "you are foreordained to do incredible things." WOW! How powerful is that? Is it just me? When I heard that it was almost like a slap in the face. YOU ARE FOREORDAINED TO DO GREAT THINGS! Meaning before you came to this Earth and gained a mortal body, you were chosen to do great things. Each and everyone of us. The problem, or I guess obstacle is that because of the veil, we cannot remember that time or what it is we were foreordained to do. But whatever it is, we have something great to accomplish with our lives and we can do it! The quote continued on to talk about when we put our faith into action, not only does our faith grow, but so does our confidence in ourselves. Such a neat blessing that through faith we have the ability to become more self confidant, which is something personally I could work on! The entire time I kept thinking about a friend who is constantly reminding me of this beautiful truth. And how grateful I am for that. I actually wrote in my notes "...this is what he's been talking about this whole time..." It's such a wonderful blessing to know that others can see such great potential in me. I am truly blessed.

Saying goodbye. It's something that is so hard for me. Something I have found myself doing a lot lately. I have been blessed with some pretty incredible people in my life and all of a sudden it seems like everything is changing. I have friends getting married, friends going on missions, friends leaving for school, or going on work adventures...the list goes on and on. I had the privilege of watching one of my best friends marry the man of her dreams a few weeks ago and I am so grateful I got that opportunity. She was a senior in high school my freshman year and we ran hurdles together. Since then she has always been there for me, even when she was away at school. I will always be grateful for her and her love and friendship because as a senior in high school it would have been so easy and justified to ignore the awkward freshman girl...and then to forget about her once you walked across that stage. But she didn't. And since then we've continued to grow as individuals and friends. Saying goodbye was such a challenge as she's off to a new state to start her life with her new last name. I adore her and always will...but this time goodbye was a little more real. I have a friend who left the country for the entire summer (who is also getting married in the near-ish future) and again she is such a beautiful person inside and out and saying goodbye wasn't easy. Needless to say I struggle sometimes with goodbye's. Peter Pan said it perfectly when he said "Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting." That's exactly how I feel. And as I have friends leave to go on missions, one of the hardest goodbye's comes this week as a very dear friend of mine will report to the Missionary Training Center to go on a mission for our church. Eventually he will leave the United States to serve and teach the people of another country. I could't be more proud of him and the choice he made to serve a mission, but I will miss him so dearly. This friend has taught me so many important things and I hate saying goodbye. In a song, country artist Jason Aldean said "Let's don't say goodbye. I hate the way it sounds. So if you don't mind, let's just say for now. I'll see you when I see you..." and how incredible is that. Exactly how I feel. I don't want to say goodbye because that means forgetting, instead I will see you when I see you. Another place, some other time. Cause the truth of the matter is, I will never again be in this place of my life. Things are going to change and there is nothing I can do about it. But friendships that are important to you, friendships that change you for the better, friendships like these...those friendships will last. Things will be okay. And the only thing left to do, as I say goodbye to all these beautiful people I have been so blessed to have in my life, is to cherish the sweet memories each person has given me, for they truly are a gift.
“Distance never seperates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad cause I miss you I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.”
I am so grateful for my family, for my dear friends, and for my Savior Jesus Christ. What a beautiful life!:)

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